It’s true that Christmas dinner is celebrated slightly differently in every household. No matter who we are or where we come from, we all have those little traditions that make the festive meal special and unique to our own home patch.
That said, there are some Christmas traditions that all farms seem to share. And with the big day less than 3 weeks away, we’ve decided to put together a list of some of the classic and stereotypical moments that make eating Christmas dinner with a farmer that bit special. We hope you enjoy it!
The wholesome smell of silage
Let’s be honest – silage has a persistent aroma. It resists all attempts to cover it up. On Christmas morning, as on every other morning, almost all farmers will be immersed in the stuff and will return to the house reeking of it. Even though we can expect prompt orders to shower before sitting down to eat, the scent always finds a way to invade the Christmas dinner table. For most of us, it’s not a complaint. The gentle waft of silage is the perfect accompaniment to our turkey and ham!
Have we any more spuds?
The key to a successful Christmas dinner on an Irish farm? Spuds, spuds, and more spuds. It’s great to have turkey, ham, stuffing and even Brussels sprouts. These are rare delicacies, after all, and we love good grub. But when it comes to an Irish farm dinner, it’s all about potatoes – good floury ones, with lots of butter. Having grown up on a farm, I didn’t realize how obsessed we farm folk are with spuds, relative to the rest of the population.
It was only as an adult, when I was cooking Christmas dinner for a few townie friends, that I made this discovery: whereas the average townie will eat 3 spuds at a single sitting, the average farmer will usually eat the equivalent of between 6 and 10 in mash alone. If roasties are available, he will take at least 2!
So a word of advice: if you’re cooking Christmas dinner for a farmer this year, start peeling early.
“Right. I’m off. The cows are waiting for their Christmas dinner.”
You must not live on a farm if you haven’t heard these words, or some variation of them, after eating Christmas dinner. The first farmer who uttered these words, or some variation of them, must have been very proud of himself (or herself!). Nowadays, though, it is almost a cliché. It is the perfect way for farmers to excuse themselves from the table after a good feed of turkey and ham. And let’s be honest, thinking about our cattle enjoying a hearty, festive meal on Christmas day is very satisfying. Some farmers even like to break open a bag of something different for their livestock on the 25th!
The sick animal
Why is there always a sick animal at Christmas? Yes, I know it’s winter and the likelihood of animals succumbing to illnesses are always much higher at this time of year, but sometimes it seems like our livestock wait until the third week of December to get sick. Whether it’s a hogget with pneumonia or a calf with scour, I can’t remember a Christmas when we hadn’t at least one animal in the sick bay.
Farmers love nothing better than explaining in detail, between mouthfuls of turkey, what is wrong with their animals. Perhaps there is no more reliable Christmas tradition than this!
The turkey sandwich
Being farmers, we hate to see good food go to waste. In the days after Christmas, we will scrape every last bit of meat off the turkey carcass and toss it into sandwiches that taste… well… bloody delicious. Personally, I like mine with salt and mayonnaise. But for a lot of farmers, butter or brown sauce is the order of the day!
Most Christmases, I’m still eating turkey sandwiches on the 29th. But maybe that’s just me!
