Is this your first Christmas with a special farmer in your life? Or maybe it’s your 21st? Or 41st? Whether you’re new to the ways of the family farm, or an old hand, there is no escaping the fact that spending Christmas with a farmer is a little bit… different. And by that, I mean that it is – usually – absolute chaos.
On the farm, life goes on
The reason for this is simple. Life on the farm does not slow down or come to a standstill because of the festive season. While farmers enjoy a Christmas party just as much as everyone else, the celebrations are always coloured by the usual plethora of farming-related incidents.
No matter what happens, no matter how much food and drink is consumed at the Christmas dinner table, cattle and sheep still have to be fed, sick animals treated and sheds cleaned. The milking needs to be done, bales have to be opened, the elements must be braved to keep food on people’s tables.
Christmas farmerisms
To help you prepare for the occasion, here are a few of our favourite Christmas farmerisms that you might hear at the dinner table this festive season:
- “Sure what about the smell of silage? Wasn’t the Lord himself born in a stable? If it was good enough for him, it’s good enough for us.”
- “Christmas holidays? Holidays? What are they?”
- “Have we any more spuds?”
- “That was a mighty feed. Now, I’m off to give the cattle their Christmas dinner.”
- “You can’t eat a turkey sandwich without brown sauce.”
- Again: “Have we any more spuds?”
- 7 o’clock rolls around: farmer asleep in the armchair after serving the cows their supper.
